13 of Boston’s Best Zombie Questions on Twitter, Answered
We’re always talking about it, wondering how and when it will happen, and doing little to prepare for it. A zombie apocalypse is one of the biggest topics on the Internet year-round, not just on Halloween. It could ultimately be what ends the human race…That is, if you even believe that zombies are possible.
Let’s just say it is possible that one day, some crazy disease comes along that turns one or more people into zombies who attack humans and turn them into zombies and then exponentially create an army of zombies that ultimately turns the world into a real-life episode of The Walking Dead. There would then be plenty of things humans need to know in order to understand – and survive – the zombie apocalypse.
Many people from Boston have some interesting questions, now that Halloween is upon us. We’ll try our best to answer them.
Why do zombies have stitches? Who the hell's been giving them medical attention?!—
Jessica Srey (@simplygorJESS_S) October 09, 2012
Valid question. No reason a zombie should be getting any kind of aid from a human medic. Which can only mean the zombies are taking time out of lumbering around and eating brains to repair each other, which makes them that much more terrifying.
Real talk right now. Do zombies poop? #walkingdead—
Randy Luck (@Randy_Luck) October 11, 2012
Sure they do. You can poop brains, too.
Ever notice how fit zombies appear to be? They never quit coming. What's their secret? Paleo diet?—
Not Jackie Jensen (@JJensenRF) October 14, 2012
Well their secret is not having a normally functioning mind. You don’t need to worry about saving your breath or watching your weight when you’re not thinking about anything but eating humans.
Can I go home and kill zombies now? #workisdead—
Michael Dempsey (@Mdempsey23) October 14, 2012
Well you’d need some real zombies for that. Once the apocalypse happens, go nuts.
@amctalkingdead How come no zombies have glasses? Do zombies all have good eyesight?—
Kevin (@kebinmiguel) October 15, 2012
The ones who previously needed glasses still need them. They just end up walking into walls and off cliffs.
what happens to zombies in water? can they swim? do they just sink to the bottom? do they need to come up for air to not-live?—
Chris Abbondanzio (@A_Bizzy_24) October 15, 2012
They definitely don’t need air, so we can assume they’d just sink to the floor and keep walking.
Want to date someone? Date a zombie. Why? Because their the one that like girls for their brain—
livia (@liviasirqueen) October 13, 2012
This is one of the most overlooked aspects of the zombie dating community. They all have the exact same interests so it’s impossible not to fall in love. Except if you’re a human and you want to date a zombie, just remember there’s no turning back from that. Just zombies from there on out.
Is it sad that most of the time whenever I look at houses I drive by I only think of which one's would be good for zombie apocalypses?—
Alice Kossowski (@alabobala) October 14, 2012
That’s not sad at all. You’ll thank yourself for your location scouting when you’re barricaded in your house of choice fending them off.
Would you think twice before running if a big bootie zombie is after you?—
Ｖａｓｃｏｎｃｅｌｏｓ♎ (@whohasthat) October 14, 2012
No preferential treatment here, gotta run. A zombie is a zombie, booty or no booty.
Is it just me or is #Allston always one step away from a zombie apocalypse?—
Jibran Malek (@jibranmalek) October 15, 2012
If it is, let’s just hope we’re prepared…
How can a zombie, decaying from death, merely skinless have a enough jaw strength to rip into a guys calf muscle? Can someone please explain—
Tony Moschetto (@LordMoschetto) October 16, 2012
They don’t feel pain or emotions, so why would they feel fatigue? You’re better off blowing their head off with a shotgun than questioning their strength.
So during the Zombie apocalypse, wouldn't winter freeze said zombies & make for EZ pickings?—
Rick Weber (@tsetem) October 26, 2012
It would need to literally be the new Ice Age. Because they don’t feel coldness or heat. If anything about the zombie apocalypse were easy we wouldn’t be thinking about it, would we?
Menino is hospitalized? Is he gonna start the zombie apocalypse after Hurricane Sandy? That's what I heard... from some guys...at a bar—
Nate Fritts (@fritzelstein) October 29, 2012
If your sources are correct…Then Boston is screwed.
Do you have any important zombie questions that need answering?